Can Viewing Relapse as a Part of the Recovery Process Support Your Recovery?

By Tanya D/Angelo, APCC

If change was easy and intuitive, we would have done it already. With any form of behavior change, whether related to substance use or otherwise, it takes intention and a bit more trial and error than we would often like. I invite you to consider if viewing relapse as part of the recovery process, rather than as a failure, might support your journey.

In the instance that relapse does occur and it is viewed as simply part of the process:

• We can experience it as a natural part of a very human process and this removes potentially harmful judgements.
• The pressure of perfection is eliminated therefore making the ordeal less stressful, so we can bounce back swiftly.
• It becomes easier to get back to the action phase of the behavior change because we are not bogged down by guilt that tells us who we are based on a single occurrence.
• It opens the door to self-compassion, which has its roots in wanting to relieve suffering, allowing us to be kind and understanding toward ourselves because we are struggling.
• We can then take the experience and learn all we can from it in order to strengthen our recovery.

The relapse provides us with information that is vital to our recovery continuing. A few questions that could be helpful during this phase:

• What was I feeling before the relapse? What can I do to care for myself in the future when I am feeling this way?
• What needs do I have that are not being met, and how can I get my needs met in a way that supports my long-term goals?
• What did this relapse highlight as an area of weakness that I thought was no longer an issue?
• What problem was I trying to solve? Is there another way to solve this problem that supports my long-term goals? If I don’t yet know how to solve this problem, is there anyone I can ask that I have not yet asked?
• What circumstances or environmental factors contributed to my relapse that I can better plan for in the future?

Taking the time to reflect on our needs and motivations can be a useful way to support ourselves. Being on our own side and being kind to ourselves following a set-back can also be supportive. I readily acknowledge that different things are helpful for different people and I only encourage you to utilize this perspective if you find it helpful for you.