Educate Yourself on Abusive Behaviors

By Rachel Benson, Mental Health Counseling Associate

Abusive behaviors can take place in many different forms and settings, such as physical, sexual, emotional, financial, and spiritual. Anyone can be affected by abusive behaviors; when these abusive behaviors become a pattern to gain or maintain control over others, we call it domestic violence.

Incidents include isolating, minimizing and blaming, using privilege, intimating, using coercion and threats, and many more.

To learn how to prevent domestic violence, here are some tips:

1. Asking for consent or having mutual agreements and healthy dialogue

• Both parties should be able to mutually agree on certain actions for different occasions. For example, sharing what would be an acceptable action in an intimate relationship and having an open and healthy dialogue between partner(s);
• Honoring and respecting each other’s opinions and choices;
• Setting up mutual agreement on financial arrangements.

2. Learning what would be considered domestic violence and the sign(s)

• Knowing the sign(s) of domestic abuse can help protect a person and help them prepare for a getaway if necessary. This link provides more information about the signs of domestic violence: Quick Guide: Domestic Violence (wellnesswavewisdom.blogspot.com)

3. Learning your rights

• Understanding the legal measures for domestic violence and what legal system can address domestic violence in particular circumstances.

4. Gaining self-awareness

• Understanding one's own tolerance and boundaries can help determine when action may have to be taken to leave the situation involving domestic violence.

5. Asking for professional help

• Considering relevant professionals for bio-psycho-socio-spiritual health, legal advice, and any other form of advice would help a person gain a better understanding of domestic violence.
• Seeking help from a mediator can also help prevent domestic violence at home, school, or work.

6. Sharing your situation with someone you trust

• Family, friends, or someone who is trusted can provide effective advice and support when necessary.

Domestic/ intimate partner violence can be intimidating. It is important for people to become aware of the problem and prevent such issues from happening. If a person has questions regarding domestic/ intimate partner violence, or is in a dangerous situation, below are some resources that may be helpful:

IF YOU ARE IN IMMEDIATE DANGER		911
National Domestic Violence Hotline		1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
National Domestic Violence Hotline	TTY	1-800-787-3224

There are many prevention programs in the community. Here are some referrals:

• Center For Community Solutions | Home (ccssd.org)
• Support Services, Shelter and Education | Women's Resource Center (wrcsd.org)
• Community Resource Center | Serving San Diego North County (crcncc.org)
• Family Resiliency Project: (760) 741-2660 | sracicot@pfcs.agency | https://www.palomarfamilycounseling.com/.